Self-Introduction (Revised)
Subject: Self-Introduction
Dear Professor Brad,
I am writing this letter to introduce myself as a student in your module, Effective Communication. I graduated from Singapore Polytechnic with a diploma in electrical and electronic engineering. I had a change of interest as I thought I could make more of a difference in improving people's lives through this course. When I was in secondary school, there was a subject named Design & Technology where I was required to plan and research to ultimately make a product to improve the simplicity of life. Through this subject, the journal and product making inspired me to be an engineer as I enjoyed the handiwork. Thus, I decided to pursue a higher educational standard and enrolled in the Civil Engineering Programme in Singapore Institute of Technology.
The objective I hope to achieve is to improve my social and communication skills after I complete this module. I aim to become a more confident speaker and an outspoken person. Having these skills is really important. The reason being is that presenting ideas and simply communicating with others is inescapable in the future as a civil engineer. Working with different teams and people is also very common because new people are met for new projects or tasks.
As for my weaknesses, I tend to be lost for words when I am communicating in large groups, or take a slightly longer time than others to plan what to say. This suggests that I am hesitant in my speech which is the opposite of the aim of this module. With that being said, projecting my voice is not a problem as I am known as the loudest amongst my closest group of friends. I also enjoy report writing as I can convey my thoughts and ideas better through having more time to organise them.
I hope this letter has been a fruitful one for you knowing me better and I am eager to eliminate my weaknesses through your teachings.
Sincerely,
Benjamin Jay Jeremiah
Tutorial Group 5
Thanks, Ben! I look forward to reading this.
ReplyDeleteHi Benjamin, it was nice to learn about your interest in civil engineering. However, it would be great if you could identify and elaborate on your strengths in communication skills as well. Additionally, it was great that you could recognise and reflect upon weaknesses.
ReplyDeleteHi Zheng Hao, thank you for reading this letter and the improvements you provided for me to improve my letter. It is greatly appreciated .
DeleteThank you for your letter, Ben. It's nice to know more about your background and inspiration to make a difference in this world. You can state more about your communication strength as I think you're loud and clear when you speak.
ReplyDeleteThe word choice of "bad impressions" for this sentence "This can lead to having bad impressions which is the opposite of the aim of this module." has a negative connotation, I would recommend you to rephrase it as "This suggests my uncertainty and doubt while speaking, which is opposite of the aim of this module."
The letter has met the 7Cs and was very engaging~
Hi Leah, thank you for this very enthusiastic comment. I am glad you thought my letter was very engaging. I think your detailed suggestion to improve my letter is also very helpful.
DeleteHey Ben, your letter gave me an impression on what you want to achieve out of this module. But I feel you could elaborate on your strengths to meet the requirements. Overall, I enjoyed reading your letter and I am sure you will be able to achieve your goals.
ReplyDeleteThank you Marcus. Giving you the impression on what I want to achieve from this module made me glad that I could convey my message properly. Elaborating on my strengths is noted and I will improve my letter in due course.
DeleteHi Ben, thank you for your letter. It is great to know about your inspiration to make a difference in everyone's life. I feel that you can elaborate more on your strengths. All in all, I enjoyed reading your letters. I am very sure that you will be able to achieve your goals.
ReplyDeleteHi Iqbal, thank you for commenting on my letter. I am glad you paid such attention to my strengths and I will amend it as soon as possible.
DeleteDear Ben,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this detailed introductory letter. It is very well presented and informative. I’m particularly impressed by the explanation of your educational journey and interest in 'improving people's lives.' At the same time, I’d like to know what some of your influences have been. Were there any relatives or teachers who inspired you or any experiences in particular that lifted your dreams to be an engineer?
Overall, you do a fine job developing each of the segments of this post. Your honest self assessment in terms of comm skills is welcome as is your discussion of module goals, all points we will address in the term.
With regard to language use, this is a highly articulate letter. There is only one sentence that has some lack of clarity: Also, working with different teams and people is very common as to why. > (As to why what? Just state this completely.)
This is a minor issue. I look forward to reading more of your writing this term.
Cheers,
Brad